Yeah, I know... I promised you all a card reading today - but I'm going through a big black hole right now and as soon as I come out of it (which I will eventually), I'll do one. Promise... xoxox Meanwhile, here's Christy Moore singing it like I feel it... Life sucks that in this cyber day and age, I have to post images with dirty great big watermarks all over them to stop cyber theft... That said, it'll still get nicked LOL
The Green Man... What can I say? I began this painting three months ago and it has, as all my mandalas have, a life of its own. I really only held the brush and the pencil completing this one. A companion piece to the Triple Goddess Mandala, the Green Man brings the balance into my life. The masculine has balanced the feminine. Light balances dark. I sit on the equinox of my life and breathe... I found the celtic knot centre in Wales. I saw it mirrored in Ireland and Scotland. It really forms the heart of my design - the celtic roots that anchor me. But the colours are Australian - bright and rich, the olive and deep green yellows reflecting the gum trees and the ochres and reds the desert heart of our great Southern land. As great as it was to visit the places of my ancestors, it was so good to come home. Blessings xoxoxox For two days only!
Friday the 12th of July Saturday the 13th July All original paintings 75% OFF Including originals from the Mandala Meditations Guidance Cards and Shop worn, Ex-display, Damaged Paintings Prints Original Artwork any thing else I can find :D The studio must be cleared out to make way for new work This sale will be held on my facebook Page starting 9am Friday morning July 12 2013 Each work of art will be listed with price in an album. The sale will be for two days only. Layby is MOST welcome. http://www.facebook.com/pages/Marg-Thomson-Visionary-Artist/409222155794529 I have been so focussed on leaving my problems that I didn't realise until I got home that leaving stuff behind never works. It's either all there when you get back, or it follows you. You can hide in a bottle or other mind numbing addiction. You can get busy, so busy... You can take on everyone else's issues. You can always run away again. But until you choose to STOP and look at what it is you are avoiding, then it will always be there. Think elephant in living room. So when I got back from my great journey, it was with a sinking heart that I realised that the burdens I had left behind were still there and I still had to deal with them. So I sunk into a deep funk. I was confused and depressed. Demoralised and disappointed. Mostly in myself. But depression has a way of turning everything into a personal battle, so I did what I always do with my depression and I gave it a full day to angst it all out. I rolled with it. Played with it. Gave it full reign. This morning, when I woke, it was with a lighter and happier heart. Not because I knew that the problems were solved with a nights sleep. I knew that I'd have to go through some hard stuff, coming up really soon. But I also knew that my little hope horse had come prancing back into my life. So I went for a walk because that's also my way of thinking and saying thank you. Being so grateful for all the wonderful opportunities I DO have is a great way to start the day. And my first thought this morning was that I have come back from my great journey a stronger and wiser woman. I stand in my power openly and honestly. And while the fear still forms a great part of my life, I know that it will not kill me and in fact, I can defeat it. So I walked. And as I walked I started to think clearly. I have been focussed on LEAVING this situation, to get away from it. I have been so focussed on leaving as being the ONLY solution to the dilemma of housing unaffordability. I have been completely focussed on what I DON'T have in my life - money, my own home, a loving supportive relationship. I have been totally focussed on fear - fear of being alone. Fear of being homeless, fear of leaving... So I thought, WHAT IF? What if I asked myself the RIGHT questions? And I did. I asked myself: "DO I REALLY WANT TO LEAVE HERE?" And the answer was an earth shattering "NO!" That stopped me in my tracks. So I asked myself the next question: "What is it I have to do to STAY here?" And I realised that I have to let go of my need to buy a house right now because with all the changes I am about to implement, now is not the right time and in doing so I also have to let go my fear of eviction - because I will ALWAYS be able to find somewhere perfect to live! I need to let go of my never having my own home because in a couple of years time I will be able to afford to live where I choose, not where I have to... I need to focus on my art, my card deck, my healing and all the little ways I can build my healing practises so that more people can benefit and start their own healing! I need to motivate the kids to get their lives sorted and move out into their own journey so that I can have my own space. And I need to let go of all the relationships that make me unhappy and keep me mired in fear, pain, loss and grief. I can do this. If I can get on a plane carrying all the fear I did; if I can travel half way round the world and step so far out of my comfort zone and KNOW that I was OK, that it was only fear, then I can do this for myself. I can fly. I've proved it. Now I want to show others they can too. Love and Blessings on this cold bright Melbourne winters morning <3 xoxoxoxox Part One I have a small fixed income (for which I am really grateful) but my rent is 90% of my income and the rent continues to go up every six months. I'm in one of the cheaper houses in the area and I can be evicted at any time, despite the one year lease I have. My journey really drove home the fact that, financially, I'm poor. I came home to high rents, higher bills, food almost double the price it was in every place I stayed overseas - hell, in Paris I could eat well for less than 5 Euros a day. And here in Australia, the only way I can buy into a home of my own is to move so far away from anyone and any services that it negates the purpose (I'm talking 3-4 hours plus) and I'd still have a hefty mortgage - but no services. Or family. Or life. And when I was told while over there, that in my situation, in most places in the UK I would have a safe rental in either council or government property (and not have to wait until beyond death to even get a place like here in Australia) I cried. In every place I stayed, within a hours drive, I could afford to buy a home of my own. Or be able to rent council property with a guarantee of NOT being evicted. So I was disillusioned and saddened to a great degree for a short time. I wouldn't want to live overseas - I realised also when I was apart from my son and my friends that despite the incredibly obvious attractions of moving to countries that I could have a comfortable lifestyle living in, I simply couldn't leave my family behind. And I love my country, despite what these fucking moronic politicians keep trying to do to it. So with this realisation, I have decided to try and think outside the box. Change my thoughts regarding being poor. I know that there are many thousands and millions who are worse than me, financially. But it's so funny, some of the happiest people I have ever met have been the poorest - because they have nothing left to lose, I guess (and family ). Still, being wired the way I am, I need some degree of security in my life and to that end, I am going to see how I can buy a house here and at least have that illusion for the last part of my life. By the way, I don't see the word poor as being a 'bad word', nor do I believe being poor or thinking I am poor, attracts poverty. I disagree with that paradigm. Money comes to me when I need it. Which is why I will set my thinking to attracting the money I need to buy a house while still acknowledging that, by what I have recently witnessed, I am poor. (smiles) It's fine. I am so rich in so many other ways It took me ten years to save for my trip and without the loving, gracious and generous support of all my wonderful hosts, I could never have done it. I'm so grateful, so thankful, so humbled by the amazing people in my life, all of whom make it so much richer Therein lies the twist. Financially fucked yet overflowing with the richness of friendship, love and family. It's an interesting conundrum Off to do some more processing - photos this time - it's easier LOL xoxox Part Two I stood at that first airport and made myself get on that plane. I have lived with fear all my life and I was not going to let fear stop me this time. This trip was too important on too many levels for me to give in to the fear. All the way there, all through my journey, I had to fight fear... Do you know how I conquered the fear of flying? I still don't like it but... I made the kids drop me at Tullamarine 2 hours before my flight was due to leave and I sat in the departure lounge for that 2 hours watching planes take off and land. At the end, when none had crashed and burned, I realised that I had that expectation that my life would end in a fiery wreck... And so I let it go. Simply let it go. And learned that in doing so, I needed to trust the people whose daily job it was to get that plane in the air, keep it there and land it with us all safe and sound. Thus began a month of lessons about letting go and trusting. It was odd, because for the first time in my life I had NO expectations of what I would find or what would happen or of the people I would stay with. And so there were no disappointments. That was a lesson in itself. However, I had expectations of what would be waiting for me when I got home and of course, I was seriously disappointed LMAO I had so many challenging frightening moments overseas. And yet none were things I couldn't handle, when it came down to the wire. I learned just how strong I am. I learned how to let go and trust that I would be safe, because I am. I know how to look after myself. But it took a journey half way round the earth to remind myself of my strength. And courage. It took a journey half way round the planet to find and bring myself back home. I haven't started painting yet, but I will. And it won't be about what I get from it or how I get it to pay, but rather it will be about me - all about me - and how I feel. And if it sells, that'll be great. And if I give it away, that'll be great too. Because my art is not about the money any more, as it was getting to be before I left to go find myself. Because while learning my strength and courage, while learning how to let go and trust, I also found that nothing mattered unless I was happy in doing what I was doing. And only I had the power to create that happiness. And if that meant giving my art away, or giving a class for free - well, if that makes me happy, then that's all that matters. I have other sources of income that will cover for everything else that I don't mind charging for - like my Professional Writing and Editing services... So it's time to simplify my life. Time to let go that which no longer serves me. Time to let go of whatever adds to the burden of unhappiness in my life (including my behaviours both past and present) and embrace that which brings happiness. I have the power to change my life. I have the power to be the change I wish to see. I have the choice to be happy... It's all about the love, isn't it??? Much love and many blessings to you all on your journey... part Three
Being poor - the cost of it all - covered Letting go and trusting - covered The importance of love - covered Flyscreens (or the lack of lol) - covered In my final year at high school (1977 if anyone really cares ) we studied a book called the Tyranny of Distance by Geoffrey Blainey. I recalled this book as I flew halfway round the world. I'd always known Australia is a HUGE country - bigger than most in the world (and that is no exaggeration or hubris) - but I never knew just how big the world is or how far away we are from EVERYTHING. To hear people talk about going to France or wherever for the weekend was a shock. The airfares were a shock. The realisation that most countries I'd only ever dreamed about were only an hour or two's flight away was the ultimate culture shock. I can't comprehend that. You have to live in a land this vast and this uninhabited to be able to understand the shock I am still in. You also have to understand that most of Australia is uninhabitable. Because we simply don't have enough water. That's a very hard thing for UK and European citizens to understand or comprehend, just like it's so hard for me to get my head around their short flights - even the USA is so close to them! The tyranny of distance... One of the richest, most beautiful (and now most expensive ) countries in the world is such a long, long way from the rest of the world - I finally understand that now. 24 hours on a plane at 40,000 feet is no picnic. To know that you have to do it again on the way home is quite offputting. We are so far from anywhere and anyone (except New Zealand LOL) that the way our country behaves - as though we are the leading edge in the world stage spotlight, is really quite embarrassing. Our politicians believe that we hold an important role and that we are 'up there' with the best. Bullshit. I don't think the rest of the world cares very much about a country that is so far off the beaten track that it takes 24 hours to get there... And is so uninhabitable that few people can live there. I can see why the peoples of the world flocked to places like London and Paris. The heartbeats of the world. Who would come to Melbourne? Who even knew Australia existed 250 years ago? Our history is tied up with that of the land. The native tribes did not build in stone or wood. There is no history except what is written in the land. Or erased by time. Little is left in this great Southern land. Yet still I love her. I love her vastness. Her jewelled seas. Her beauty and her terror. Her droughts and flooding rains. (Yes, I've paraphrased my fave poem lol) There is no country (yet) that holds me like mine does. And while I have loved visiting other lands, seeing other places, experiencing other cultures, there really is no place like home. Even though we are at the end of the Earth xxoxx |