There are days when just getting out of bed seems an impossible task. Days when the pain in your heart matches the pain in your body. When you combine FMS with depression, nothing seems to matter very much except getting through one minute after another. Until the sun shines again...
Well I got all excited about the new store app and program I found and got it all set up - even installed it on facebook - only to find out that the currency was only USD and had no capacity to handle international currencies... Which was... Well... COMPLETELY USELESS!
Dontcha just hate getting all the way to the end of setting up a new site and not being able to finish it because of ONE TINY LITTLE DETAIL? Well, I do! Stay tuned for the new ORDER FORM coming soon to my facebook Page - this one'll work... I'll make sure of it LOL All my life I have been searching for someone to take care of me.
I expected it. I wanted it. I needed it. Yesterday I realised that the part of me that was doing this was my child self. Still anchored in my past abandonments, I was searching for a parent to take responsibility for and look after me and I was projecting that expectation onto every partner, every friend. Those of you who have stuck with me over the years have understood this struggle far better than I. Thank you so much for staying the course - I deeply appreciate and love each one of you. Yesterday, I became an adult. I finally let go the chains that bound me to the past. I put my child to bed and I stepped up and into my life. I now take full and complete responsibility for my self, my life, my actions, my reactions, my behaviour, my words and my intent. I am finally free. |