How can this be?
I have lived each and every one of those 365 days since my life was destroyed in a short, horrific, devastating moment of time.
And yet, it's like it happened yesterday...
How is that possible?
Today, twelve months since the catastrophic fire that changed my life and the lives of many people around me, I take the day to reflect and mourn but I also take the moment to give thanks for all that I have right now in this minute.
Nothing will ever change the way I feel about what I lost that day.
Every day I am reminded of the little things that are gone, my treasures, my mementos, my collections, my paintings, my life's work, my precious little bits and bobs that meant nothing to anyone else but me. All gone but a few small things that sit in a sooty box waiting for me to have the heart and courage to open it and clean them off.
Every day I am reminded of the possibilities and probabilities that died with that fire. The relationships that will never be. The work that will never be completed. The loss of friends. The loss of business opportunities that were never realised. The loss of my home, my connections to another place.
Every day I awake knowing that I have the opportunity to start again.
Until today, I have not been able to face that knowledge, nor accept that it is so. I have not been able to look forward - my mind has always been half turned towards that not so distant past. But now it is time.
It is time to turn fully and face towards the light of the future. Time to embrace the new possibilities and probabilities. Time to let go of the pain and the hurt. Time to let go of all the things that are now, long gone. Time to let go of my grief.
I'm going to spend the day in the garden.
And watch for signs of hope.
Blessings and love, always.