Some of you may have noticed I've been working on my website. I put in a Shop... Long overdue, I know but I could never get it to work right until the other day when I responded to the words of so many people and put my prices up...
Since then, I have been struggling. Seriously struggling. I wake up every morning and my first thoughts are literally, "It's all too much. I can't do that. No-one will buy my work. I won't be able to keep going if no-one buys my art..."
See, I don't just create because I have to, because it's my passion and my purpose, I create because ultimately the money I make from sales helps me live - it takes me that step up from survival to living. Not a very big step but one that is so deeply appreciated.
I know, given the big picture, I am so very very fortunate. But I can't live the big picture because I can only live MY life. I wish with all my heart that the rest of the world could live as well as I do, have the opportunities I have. I wish I could rescue all the animals and babies that need rescuing. I wish I could do more for others.
So I paint. I think that my paintings work so deeply on healing the planet and everything living on it, that I'm doing what I can, with what I have.
But I still freak out every time I hear the words "You undersell yourself. You're not doing yourself or your worth any favours with those prices. You need to value your work more - other people do, why not you?"
Why not me, indeed?
Because I simply don't believe I'm that good. It's the age old battle with the abused self. The self that believes she is of no worth. The adult self I am today knows that this belief is not true and yet, so ingrained is it, I have a hard time shifting it.
So gently I told myself that today, I am worth it. Today I am worth the prices I ask for my art.
I have sold over 400 decks of my cards - all by myself.
I have had major exhibitions and sold well.
My work hangs in private and corporate collections.
I am a recognised visionary artist.
It's just fear that's holding me back.
And so I will face it and I will walk through it and I will see what waits me on the other side.
Love and Blessings